Gareth's story

This isn't Gareth's whole story really. The story of his life came to an abrupt and cruel end long before it should have done. Part of the huge sadness and emptiness felt by his friends and family, is for the loss of the many years when Gareth should have been having fun, achieving successes, enjoying new experiences and challenges and living his dreams.

Gareth never got the chance to tell you about himself and the 33 years that he did live. I am his mum and the agony I feel is matched only by the shock of losing him to malignant melanoma so quickly. It seemed as if one minute he was here, strong and determined and the next he was gone. Losing him is still as raw and unbearable six months after his death but getting involved in Factor 50 has at least helped me to begin to look forward.

Gareth was born on November 1st 1975, 10 minutes after his twin brother Philip. From the word go he was full of energy. He seemed to have burst in on life and was determined to make the most of it. He loved school and did very well in all subjects, finally achieving 9 GCSEs. He did well in sport playing golf and football and was an excellent gymnast. He was also a strong swimmer and loved any water sports. He seemed to be fearless and tireless.

After school he worked for British Car Auctions and then went in to the family business, Lockwood & Greenwood Ltd Audenshaw. He developed a passion for fishing and also for travelling. Combining the two with fishing expeditions to Thailand was just his most perfect trip.

He had many friends and I will be forever grateful for their support and bravery when he was so unwell. They were amazing.

Gareth was not a sun worshipper and although he loved hot countries, he would always wear sun screen and cover up. He had never been on a sun bed. Indeed he had from being 11 developed a reaction to the sun which meant that he always wore a high factor cream.

In 2007 however a mole on his back turned ugly and had obviously changed shape and texture. He mentioned it but for months ignored all advice to go to the GP. When in August 2007 he eventually went he was immediately referred to Tameside hospital where they removed it and then passed him on to Christies. They cleared a bigger area around the site and seemed confident that they had removed all the cancer.

Then in October 2008, Gareth developed a lump under his arm. He didn’t mention it at first but insisted that he and his brother went on another fishing trip to Thailand. They caught some huge fish and were on a website for some time with photographs of their successes. On his return he went back to Tameside and was immediately referred to Christies. Within a couple of days he was undergoing surgery. When the wound had healed we returned to see the surgeon who explained that they had removed a huge slab of nodules and there was certainly no more that could be removed. It was now up to the medical team. He was put in the care of Dr Lorigans team. All that day he was given scans and tests and then we returned for the results on December 17th. That meeting with Jackie Hodgetts will haunt me forever. She had the miserable task of telling us that Gareth could not be cured. He was so strong and healthy with a good metabolism that the cancer had spread very rapidly and aggressively. It was now in his liver and his lungs. He was in dreadful pain but all they could do was administer palliative care. Her letter to his GP which Gareth never saw told us that he had only weeks to live.

He thought he had 12 months and he was determined to make the most of every moment. He had one dose of palliative chemo on December 22nd but was never fit enough to attend Christies again. Yet still he was walking and trying to spend time with his friends. Christmas Day was so hard but he did manage to celebrate a little and sent us all cards. On Saturday he even walked around Dovestone reservoir with his friend Rachael and his little dog Arthur. Arthur was a rescue dog that Gareth had taken in. He was in terrible shape and so Gareth had called him Arfer because he said he was only 'half a dog'. He was in a lot of pain and on a high dosage of morphine but he managed the two and a half miles on a chilly December day. He was determined to get well and tried to eat and exercise and keep his energy levels up. By Monday however the pain was unbearable and he had to go in to Willow Wood Hospice. He was never to come out of there. Just six days later he lost his battle and we had lost him forever. It is an unbearable loss and if by raising awareness or contributing money for research we can stop one more young person dying in this way then that at least will help a little.

We are indebted to the staff at Christies and Dr Parry from Tameside as well as Gareth’s GPs Dr Kokiet and Dr Murray. All of them acted with speed and professionalism to try to ward off this terrible illness. They also took time to support us, Gareth’s family and in fact still do.

We are determined that Gareth will not be forgotten. Celebrating his birthday with a Dinner Dance at the White Hart is a chance for us to speak his name with pride as well as supporting Factor 50. My dream is that this will be an annual event that will keep his memory alive. Gareth’s father Gordon, his partner Eileen, his brother Philip and Chris and I have had wonderful support from our friends and families. Getting together again with them and new friends and supporters of Factor 50 on October 30th will be a fitting tribute to Gareth who loved a good party and who loved life. We hope to see you there.

Jennifer Greenwood

Recently, one of Gareth's friends contributed a very moving piece relating to her memories of Gareth.   In the couple of weeks leading up to Gareth's birthday celebration dinner, this is what Rachael wrote about him:-

My partner Craig and Gaz had been friends for years before I met them. There were some good stories from those days like the time when Gaz had to make the big decision to stay on at College or get a job, a tale that’s so typically Gaz I can pretty much see it myself.  Leaving college one day Gaz plonked his folder of work on the roof of his car, forgot it was there and as they sped away watched every bit of his college career fly all over the road.  That was his decision made and so his time at college ended as he turned to Craig laughing and shrugged his shoulders.
 
Gareth was very sharp-witted with a dry sense of humour that often had us in stitches; he was also kind and would do anything for his friends.  Some of his best used phrases were ‘don’t worry about it’ and ‘cheers, thanks for that’ – and that’s how he was, relaxed and appreciative. 
 
The last time I feel like I saw the real Gaz, my friend and the lovely guy I knew, was a week before he died when we went out walking and talked about the same random rubbish as ever, laughing at toilet humour and promising to go camping in summer.  When I looked at him halfway around Dovestone his cheeks were flushed and he was smiling – I couldn’t believe he was ill, as I teased him about how mean he was for not letting me hold Arthur’s lead! That walk must have been like climbing a mountain to him.
 
Gareth’s bravery was inspirational, he made little complaint about the pain he was in and was unbelievably pragmatic about his cancer.  Even when he was in Willow Wood he didn’t complain, he was the most positive person I ever met.
 
During the last few weeks of Gareth's life it felt as though we were all on a toboggan run, everything normal around us hurtling past without being noticed, headed for heartache with no way of preventing what was to come.  I felt constantly that I wanted to slam on the brakes just to stop and take everything in but cancer doesn’t work that way, before we knew what was happening he was gone.  As time goes on sorrow is slowly giving way to fondness when I think of him and once again he makes us laugh and smile as he always did before.  A million happy and funny memories are the gifts he left to lots of friends and his family, and a chance to come together and celebrate with Gareth in our thoughts is something I look forward to for many years to come.
 
Rachael